Anonymous asked: Did you miss me? I've missed you! It's been a little too long since I last visited, don't you think? You're a craving that just keeps coming back, how about we take care of this craving of mine?
Awe! I’ve missed you, too, circle-with-sunglasses! Tell me what it is that you crave and I’ll endeavor to satisfy you…
Anonymous asked: Hey there, mister.. I'd like to put your cock in my mouth and get it good and wet before I ask you to fuck me up my ass while I finger my pussy..I want you to make me come. Not much of a question, but close enough.
So much for the innuendo I usually get. You just decided to be all-out inappropriate! I like this. I like this a lot. Let’s do all of this, please. And then let’s do it all over again!
Anonymous asked: I've found you! You're the man of my dreams- my wet dreams, that is. Wanna go to Disney World? They say that's where dreams come true.
I haven’t been to Disney World but I certainly would like to go sometime. Then we can turn those wet dreams into reality!
There is no reason whatsoever to post the same job over and over when you haven’t hired that experienced or qualified applicant.
Anonymous asked: The word of the night is "legs." Wanna go back to my place and spread the word?
Sure thing! Just so long as it’s allowed to change up the word of the night after a while. “Cheeks” sounds like a good alternative…
Anonymous asked: You mentioned that you would have sex with a relative. Could you be more specific?
I won’t get too terribly specific but I’d most certainly love to have incestuous relations with a female cousin. Perhaps even my sister, too, under certain circumstances. Hopefully that satisfies your curiosity!
Anonymous asked: Hey there, I'm a professional flute player and I am skilled in all of the instruments of the flute family. would you mind if i tried out your skin flute?
I don’t think I’d mind. Just don’t expect it to play the same kind of music a traditional flute would…
Anonymous asked: Hello! I'm writing a paper on the finer things in life, may I interview you?
That’s fine. I’ll just sit here looking fine while you finally ask me some fine questions. Would that be fine with you? It will be just fine with me!
1. Is there anyone of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with?
Yes; all of my female friends and one or two of my male friends.
2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
Night is probably the most convenient, if I had to choose between the three.
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
The top side.
4. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No but I probably would for the right price!
5. Would you ever have sex in the shower or the bath?
Absolutely. That way you can stay clean while getting dirty!
6. Do you watch/read pornography?
Who doesn’t? Not nearly as often as I used to, though. They don’t really make porn with my tastes in mind.
7. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
I wouldn’t be able to settle for someone that’s passive 100% of the time. Aggression is too much fun!
8. Do you love someone on your friends list?
If I don’t love my friends then they aren’t really my friends now, are they?
9. Would you choose love or money?
Money. Love can always come along later, if at all.
10. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
Foot play third, role play second and my number one favorite kink is…anal play!
11. Has anyone you’ve been with ever crossed the line with you sexually?
To the best of my knowledge, no. I tend to let my partners know my sexual boundaries and I make it a point to know theirs before anything happens.
12. Where is the most romantic place you would want to have sex?
Outside under the stars on a blanket upon the grass next to a babbling brook. The beach at sunrise (east coast) or sunset (west coast) comes in a close second.
13. Where is the weirdest place you would want to have sex?
In a church. Preferably right behind, upon or against the pulpit for maximum effect.
14. What would you do if you were ever caught having sex?
I would probably turn on the showmanship and make it look as good as I can for my audience. I might even look right at whomever “caught” me when I climax if they were perverted enough not to apologize and leave immediately.
15. Would you ever go to a bar just to get sex?
16. Has anyone ever tried to pick you up in a bar?
I’ve never been to a bar. Not counting restaurants that happen to have a bar, though.
17. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
Both in a sense, sure.
18. Would you have sex in a movie theater?
I’d absolutely like to try that sometime.
19. Would you have sex outside?
Allow me to refer you back to question 12 if you want more than just a yes.
20. Would you have sex in a restroom?
Again, allow me to refer you back to question 5. But if it’s like a public restroom? If I really needed it and it was clean enough, probably.
21. Would you ever have sex at work?
Only if there was a zero percent chance I’d get caught or fired.
22. Bought something from an adult store?
I certainly have! See the next question.
23. Do you own any sex toys?
Only one so far. I have a Pink Stealth Original Fleshlight!
24. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
If memory serves, I’m pretty sure I’ve only sent inappropriate pictures to one person.
25. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
Intentionally, yes. Accidentally, no.
26. Do you think oral sex constitutes as a form of intercourse?
Any form of penetration is a form of intercourse, so yes.
27. What’s your favorite sexual position?
I’m a switch but I do tend to top. As far as body positioning goes? I think my flavor-of-the-moment is going up against a wall or bending someone over something like a table, arm of a sofa, etc.
28. What’s your favorite sex act?
Please check question 10 again. I’m an ass man, people!
29. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
In a way, yeah.
30. Would you ever use toys in bed?
Every once in a while, when the mood strikes, yes.
31. What would you do if your partner suggests a threesome?
I’d take it under consideration as long as it would be with someone we’re both close enough to the third person to even suggest it to them.
32. How many people have you slept with?
I’ve shared a bed with others before but I can’t recall every single person. Maybe somewhere between half a dozen to a dozen?
33. What’s the strangest pick up line you’ve gotten?
"I put the STD in stud, all I need is U."
34. If your lover/crush were in your bed right now, what would you do?
Ask, “Are you asleep?”
Time to turn on the charm! Or just pass out right next to ‘em.
36. If you cheated on your lover how would you tell them?
I’d be honest with them but make no excuses and own up to my actions.
37. What would you do if you walked in on your partner having sex?
If I wasn’t notified beforehand, I probably wouldn’t do anything except feel disappointed and heartbroken. But if it was something planned? I’d probably stand there and watch until I was invited to join in!
38. What would you do if you were cheated on?
If it was just a mistake on their part because of a lapse in judgment, I would forgive them. If it was something that was going on regularly, I’d feel betrayed and would have to call the relationship off.
39. List five places you would love to make out.
In bed, on the couch, on the floor, in the pool, against the bedroom door. Could I do more than just make out in those places, please?
40. How many times do you masturbate in a week?
It varies. As much as a dozen or more times a week to as little as zero within a seven-day period. If I was still a teenager, once a day would have been the minimum!
Anonymous asked: It seems that your lips are a little lonely, would they like to meet mine?
If you happen to be Ms. Anonymous, then I’d certainly like to meet both sets of your lips.
If you happen to be Mr. Anonymous, I’m afraid I’m not one to have romantic feelings toward guys so I wouldn’t really be interested in meeting your lips with mine. My lips would be much more interested in meeting other, more fun places!